Love to Find

Love to Find

This song was tugging on me for a few days. I needed to write it or it would just pass me by. I’m so happy that it waited for me to get to it.

The week before I wrote this song I sang Santa Baby out at a gig. I love singing that song because its sexy and cute and I love Eartha Kitt, but I don’t like what the song is saying. It is all about materialistic greed and I am an anti-materialistic type of girl. In fact, I preach anti-materialism (see my other blog video called The Burn located in the art category). I felt like a hypocrite. That led me to the fact that I love to sing Christmas songs and I am not a christian. Isn’t that also very hypocritey of me? So why do I love Oh Holy Night and Joy to the World? The reason is because I was brought up in a culture that was christian. I was brought up with Jesus, Christmas trees, Santa Claus, cookies and Christmas songs. It all was part of the magic, joy and love of the season.

Although I love Jesus, I have never accepted him as my savior. I tried and I struggled with this for many years. I was told by christians that the only people that go to heaven are the ones who have accepted him as such. I thought that heaven must be a very small place if this were to be true. I felt like I was damned because I couldn’t believe. My heart was telling me that all people are equally good. Jesus tells us not judge and to love everybody so why do many christian people judge other’s beliefs and hate them if they are not in agreeance? I could not live in the christianity box.

I have come to be at peace with my beliefs and it took a very long time. I like to say Merry Christmas but these days everything is offensive in one way or another. Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays are just words but when I say Merry Christmas it feels like there is more love in it. When I say happy holidays it feels plastic. The meaning and the feeling from my heart is more important than the actual words. I would rather send you love than send you plastic.

This song is my attempt to transcend the boundaries of religion during a religious holiday. I mean you no harm. I wrote this song with only peace and love in mind. I believe that the world is lacking, big time, in understanding and consideration of other individuals. There is not one truth. There are many and I will respect them all. Who am I to say what is the truth for you? I would never. I can only say what is true for myself.